dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
