I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize