we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
