Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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