i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
