i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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