Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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