I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
