Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
