she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
