Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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