I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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