even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
