I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
