Cold hands, warm shart.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Im part way to drunk.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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