OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
