Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
