Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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