Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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