i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Everclear isn't food dammit
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
