ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
