Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
