I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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