Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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