My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
