as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
