I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
