if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
