I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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