With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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