Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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