I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
