The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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