Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
