he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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