it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
