she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
