to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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