This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
