Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
