escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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