He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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