Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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