please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
