You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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