I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
