ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
