We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
