This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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