At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
