I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
