I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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