you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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