You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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