Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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