Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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